


Calzona One Shots

by Worldofcalliope



Category: Calzona - Fandom, Greys Anatomy, arizona robbins - Fandom, callie torres - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-07 21:26:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10369800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worldofcalliope/pseuds/Worldofcalliope
Summary: A collection of one shots based on Calzona.





	1. Home

It had been almost a year since Arizona had given Callie the plane tickets for her and Sofia to go and live with Penny. The two women had established a good schedule for when Arizona got to see Sofia, she had booked vacation days when she could and often spent times in New York if Sofia had a play at school, or something she didn’t want to miss. She liked that they had some normality to the situation, yet still after a year she felt like a part of her was missing. Arizona would find herself lying awake most nights thinking over the events of the last few years, the divorce, the custody battle, all of it. For her tonight was no different, she sighed as she looked at her clock and realised the time, 4:36am. She had to be up and getting ready for work in under 2 hours. She tossed and turned for a while, listening to the storm outside when she heard a soft knock at her front door. Arizona was confused as to who would be at her house this early, or this late. She slid into her leg and put her robe on before making her way downstairs. She turned on the light by the door as another knock rippled through. “It’s like 5am what the-“ Arizona started as she opened her door shocked at the sight in front of her. A rain soaked Callie was stood with her sleeping daughter in her arms, her coat protecting their daughter from the rain and a weak smile on her face, but Arizona noticed that it didn’t quite meet her eyes. Arizona had always been able to read Callie through her eyes and she couldn’t help but notice a sadness in them. “Callie? What are you doing here? I don’t have Sofia for another two weeks?” The blonde asked. “Can I come in?” Was all Callie replied with. “Oh shoot, of course, go sit down you must be freezing, I’ll go put Sof in her bed.” Arizona smiled taking their daughter from her ex-wife as she stepped into her home. As she took Sofia up to her room and gently kissed her head as she put the girl in her bed all she could think of is why Callie was here, in the early hours of the morning no less. When she went back downstairs Callie was pacing the floor of her living room. “Hey.” “Hey. I’m sorry for waking you.” The taller woman smiled back. “I was awake, I’m always awake. So is there a story as to why you’re on my doorstep at this time?” Arizona joked as she awkwardly toyed with her robe. “I needed to go, I was suffocating and I needed to breathe.” Callie explained as Arizona sat down on the couch, a puzzled look written across her face. “What do you mean suffocating?” “I followed Penny to New York because I was convinced that’s where my heart is, wherever she is. I felt so lost for so long and I finally felt like I had found my home, New York with her. I thought it would solve everything and I could get on with my life. I was so broken Arizona. After the crash and everything we went through I changed. I’m not the girl I was when you loved me. I barely make it through the day anymore. I feel like a part of me is missing.” Callie said, Arizona hanging on her every word, knowing that feeling all too well. “Before Penny met Sofia I asked Bailey what I should do, and she asked me when I watch her kick a ball and imagine her in the world cup, making the winning goal and everybody cheering, and I’m on the side lines shouting “Torres, Torres” who I saw cheering her on beside me. I told myself it was Penny, that I saw my future with her, and maybe part of me did. I have thought about that conversation every day since I left, I lie awake at night trying to piece together the puzzle but I just can’t.” She explained, a slight crack in her voice. “I’ve been lying to Penny, and I’ve been lying to myself. I finally snapped. I can’t put either of us through a relationship that is one sided, I won’t. So I left. I packed up as much of mine and Sofia’s stuff as I could and I left her a note. It’s cowardly and cruel, I know that, but I can’t face her just to break her heart. So I ran, went straight to the airport, I didn’t even know where I was going, but when the woman asked me where I wanted the tickets for my heart spoke for me, Seattle. The whole flight I was planning what I was going to say to you in my head, I had this big speech, and I haven’t said a single word of it. It took me so long to realise it Arizona, but I was looking for a place to call home. It’s not a place, it’s a feeling and for the first time in a year I’ve been able to breathe because I’m home. Because after all this fighting with myself I found the missing piece to my puzzle, the person I see myself cheering on our little girl with. All of it boils down to the same answer. You, Arizona.” Callie confessed flustering as a tear rolled down her cheek. Arizona stood up from her place on the couch and walked over to the taller woman, silence echoing between the two of them. She met Callie’s eyes with her own, and that’s when she saw it. The honesty behind every single word she just said, and a smile crept it’s way onto her lips. “Please just say something.” Callie sighed looking at Arizona. “Calliope.” She began. “No matter how much it broke my heart, I watched you and Sofia walk away from me. All because I wanted you to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, whether I was a part of that happy or not. These last few years have been hell from us, and you being on the other side of the country didn’t help that’s for sure. I knew a part of me was missing too, from the day I met you I knew you’d become an important part of my life. I could never have anticipated that you’d be the most important part, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I put us through hell, I know I did, after the crash I treated you like you didn’t mean anything, and that was wrong of me, I cheated on you, and it’s my biggest regret. I’ve been so sorry for all of that, sorry enough to let you walk away from me, because I thought you had someone to treat you better than I could, to love you in the way you deserve Callie. But listening to you talk right now, I feel like I’m back in the bathroom at Joe’s falling in love with you all over again, because I’ve never stopped loving you Calliope, and I never will. I want to be your home, I want to be next to you holding your hand as we watch our baby girl do great things, and cheer her on from the side lines.” Arizona told her as she took the brunettes hand in her own and felt her warm at the contact. “Because I love you, and you love me.” Callie smiled. “And none of the rest of it matters.” Arizona smiled, finishing a sentence the couple had encountered once before. Callie let her hand rest on Arizona’s face before pulling her in for a tentative but heartfelt kiss, and that’s when she felt everything shift back into place, as she pulled away and looked in adoration at the woman she loved she knew it. She was home.


	2. Follow You Into The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's sad, but just an idea I wanted off my chest.

Never in a million years would I imagine myself standing in this position. I’m standing in the dead autumn air staring at the concrete monument and I feel like I can’t breathe. Involuntarily I reach out and touch the cold grey stone before me, slowly following the curves of each letter that is etched into the smooth surface. I still can’t say it out loud. Every syllable feels like another stab to my chest, it’s just a reminder that you’re never gonna answer to your beautiful name again.   
I let out a shaky breath before I bring myself to get up off the floor, and walk away from you. You’re always going to be here, six feet under the cold hard ground. I’m never going to see you smile at me again. I’ll never see the way you always furrowed your brow and stuck your tongue out when you concentrated on something. I’ll never feel your embrace again. Worst of all, I will never again hear the words “I love you Calliope.” Fall from your lips. The silence was deafening.  
As I walked away, I mentally counted each step. Each one of those steps reminding me just how far away you are now. I always told you that it never mattered where you went, I would always follow you. I meant it to. Somehow, you managed to go to the one place I can’t follow, and I want to, but I just can’t.   
Your mom asked me if I would help go through the things in your house, I said yes, no matter how much of an intruder I felt like, I could never say no to your mom. We hadn’t been close for some time, not as close as we once were. When you were my everything, and I yours. The second I walked through the door of your house I felt like all the air had been knocked out of me, the smell of you invaded my nose as I stepped across the threshold. I had to take everything in, I didn’t want to touch anything, I didn’t want to move any of it, it meant packing up the pieces of your life to be put away or thrown out, and I couldn’t cope with that thought.   
Slung across the back off the chair was your jacket. You must have put it there that night. Knowing that jacket was one of the last things to touch you, I couldn’t help but glide my hands over the smooth fabric. As I brush over where your shoulders would be, I try to remember how you feel, your touch.  
I can feel your moms eyes burning into my back as I pick up your jacket. I hold onto it with everything I have as I bring it to my face and inhale the scent that as I always loved, like flowers, but sweet, just, oh so Arizona. I can feel my legs collapse under me as I start sobbing, your mom immediately wraps her arms around me while I stain the lining of your jacket with my tears. It’s just your jacket. It doesn’t hold the warmth of you that it once did, but still I cling to it. Maybe if I hold on tight enough, you’ll walk through the door, tell me you’re home. You’ll walk through that door and tell me that you’re still here.   
I felt so helpless while I could feel your mother soothe me. She knew it was pointless and in vain, we both did. I would never be okay with this, something that both her and I have and always have in common.   
Eventually, I found the strength to stand up, my legs still feeling weak but they held me. I slowly put my arms inside of your jacket and pulled it around me. I took a deep breath before making my way to your kitchen. I could feel your mom watching as I picked up a coffee mug you had left on the kitchen counter, the same thing every morning, always a half-finished cup where you had to run off because you were late. Cream with two sugars. I dumped the remaining coffee into the sink and washed your favourite mug, the one that Sof decorated the time we went to color me mine with pink and green flowers splodged around it, an imitation of your scrub cap, definitely for the keep pile. Such a simple gesture, yet in nearly killed me.   
Slowly but surely, me and your mom made it through the house, your house, collecting and sorting all the items that made you. I sighed softly to myself at the stack of magazines you had, somethings never change. You always said they were mindless trash but you just couldn’t help yourself. As I watched your mother put them in a trash bag I wanted to scream, but I know I don’t have that right. Not anymore.   
We saved your bedroom for last. We both knew it was going to be the hardest, the most personal. I had to calm myself down before we went in. it felt so bizarre to feel so foreign in your bedroom. I felt invasive. You had photos all over the house, as you always did, but as we sorted through your bedroom I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I looked at the photo of you and me on your bedside table, that once stood in the living room of the home we shared together, next to it a photo of me and Mark, with Sofia. I felt my heart break all over again at the thought of Sofia losing two parents, but the thought of you and Mark being together again, bickering like you always did, made my heart warm again. Out of the corner of my eye I could see as your mother put a few items in a box that she had been very specific about this whole time. After what feels like an eternity, she breaks the silence between us once we have finished.   
“Callie, honey.” Her own voice strained and tired. “Before you go, everything in that box is yours now. The stuff for Sof is downstairs but this, this is yours.” She said with a weak smile as she fought off her own tears. “It’s what she would have wanted.”  
“I- I can’t.” I whispered as tears started trickling down my face again.   
“You can sweetheart, and you will. I know my daughter very well, and I know she would have given you everything, she always would have.” She tells me sincerely.   
I can only weakly nod in response, not trusting my own words.   
We say our goodbyes, for now. Knowing thanksgiving is just around the corner and me and Sof will be going down to your parents house for dinner.  
As I drive away, my heart feels heavier than it ever has. I don’t want to know what’s in that box. I don’t want it to mean you’re gone, I don’t want you to be gone.   
I don’t know if I am actually going to be able to do this. I’ve been living without you for some time, but I’ve never had to live without you. You’re underneath the ground and I’m above it, nothing either of us can do to change that.   
Hours pass and I find myself laying on top of my bed, still engulfed in your jacket. I’m tired, more tired than I’ve ever been, but I just can’t sleep. All that’s going through my mind is fear. The fear that one day I’m going to wake up and I won’t remember the sound of your voice. Afraid that I may forget your smile, afraid of forgetting the way your laugh sounds. I’m afraid of one day, just not remembering you, what happens then? I can feel my chest tighten at the thought and my throat constrict. I can feel my tears burning down my already tear stained cheeks.   
I’m so sorry Arizona, for not loving you the way I should have, the way I wanted to.   
You know that I would have followed you anyway,   
But there are some places even I can’t go.


End file.
